If I Ever Get Dementia, Show Me My YouTube Channel

Today I Hit 800 Subscribers

(After Launching My Channel in 2006) Twenty freakin’ years!

Not 8000, Not 80,000,
Eight hundred. Yeah, you read that right! 800 and teetering…

Fun Fact: Only 10 % of YouTube Channels reach 1000 subscribers. I’m in good company with the other 90%.

My very first video 20 years ago was a grainy, low-resolution clip of my sister shadow dancing at Burning Man. (since removed) I edited it in Windows Movie Maker. Digital cameras were still evolving, and the videos were Blurry. Tiny. Imperfect.

But that didn’t stop me. I continued to film and upload.

Back then, nobody really knew what YouTube was supposed to be. It was the Wild West. People posted funny skits, awkward home movies, random moments of life. No strategy. No branding. No algorithms to decode. Just curiosity and creativity.

Then came the how-to videos. Those were gold!

I remodeled parts of my house using YouTube tutorials. Total strangers taught me things I might never have learned otherwise. That was the magic — people sharing what they knew.

When I started uploading my trick riding videos, I picked up a couple hundred subscribers fairly quickly. For a minute, it felt like momentum.

Then YouTube introduced ad revenue.

I made pennies….literal pennies.

And then they changed the rules — you needed 1,000 subscribers and thousands of watch hours to qualify for monetization. That’s when my growth slowed to a crawl.

I didn’t have a niche.
I didn’t have a strategy.
I just wanted to share my crazy life in an artful way.

I’m a musician.
A hiker.
A traveler.
A ranch owner.
An artist.
A complete jackie-of-all-trades.

Over time, my equipment improved. My editing improved. I spent hours polishing videos into little documentaries of my adventures.

And sometimes they were full-blown documentaries.

I once flew to Kansas to stay with a family living in the middle of wheat fields as far as the eye could see. I filmed their simple life as farmers and the one-room schoolhouses they were restoring. I submitted that film to festivals.

Some of my videos have over 100,000 views.
Others have 25.

My subscriber count? It creeps.

I gain a few.
I lose a few.
I gain a couple more.
It inches forward.

It’s always teetering!

One day I’ll hit 1,000 subscribers. Or maybe I won’t.

But here’s what I’ve realized: That number isn’t the point.

The point is that I’ve documented my life.

When I go back and watch videos from ten or fifteen years ago, I smile. I remember who I was. What I cared about. What my voice sounded like. The light in my eyes. The people who were still here.

YouTube became my time capsule.

If I ever get dementia, I hope someone sits me down and presses play.

“Look,” they’ll say.
“This was you.”

And I’ll get to meet myself all over again.

800 subscribers – still filming.

Go take a look and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE! I want to get to 801!

You Don’t Lose Your Identity—You Change the Key

Age 25

I’ve been an entertainer my entire life—one way or another.

It started when I was seven years old, putting on backyard circuses with my friends while our parents and neighbors sat politely in lawn chairs, pretending we were spectacular. From there, it turned into choir from ages nine to fourteen, then professional bands at sixteen, and eventually decades of professional singing that carried me well into my fifties.

Along the way, I even spent twelve years as a radio DJ—but that’s a story for another blog post.

I stopped singing professionally at fifty-five because my vocal cords simply stopped cooperating. Age has a way of shaking things up whether we’re ready or not. I couldn’t hit those high Ann Wilson power notes anymore. Not only could I not hit them—it hurt. And if you’ve noticed, Ann can’t hit her famous notes anymore either.

But we don’t stop!

Why? Because it’s our identity! Something we believe we were put on this Earth to do!

I sang in tiny, forgettable bars and on big, unforgettable stages. I toured. I opened a show for James Brown’s Grammy Celebration in Los Angeles—his annual industry-only event filled with the who’s who of R&B. A dream come true. And damn, back then I could belt those insane high notes straight from my chest.

Then one day… I couldn’t.

And it crushed me.

I threw myself a full-blown pity party. My voice was gone—and it felt like I was gone too. On top of that, I felt invisible. Like I was fading out. And I wasn’t ready for that. I was too young to disappear.

So I did something desperate and hopeful all at once: I paid $500 for one singing lesson with a renowned vocal coach in New York.

One hour. That’s all it took.

He told me the truth—my vocal cords were thinning with age, and there was nothing I could do about that. But there was something I could do about how I sang. I needed to sing softer. I could still hit high notes, but I’d need to use my falsetto.

Back in the day, falsetto was considered cheating.

That day, I was given permission to cheat.

He taught me how to use breath to make falsetto stronger—not airy—so it could approximate that powerful chest voice I used to rely on. Think Ann Wilson in her glory days singing Barracuda or Crazy on You—pure chest voice. I couldn’t do that anymore. But I could do this.

And that changed everything.

Losing My Identity

Here’s the hard truth: when you lose your identity, it can feel like you’re just waiting to die. At least, that’s how it felt to me.

So I turned to YouTube.

I sat on my couch with my guitar and sang into the camera. I uploaded videos knowing maybe twenty or thirty people would watch. And I was grateful for every single one of them. They showed up. They witnessed me. They allowed me to let the creativity that had been trapped inside my body finally come out.

That mattered more than views or numbers.

I was singing on my terms—with the vocal cords I now have.

Today, my stage is the high desert.

I created a channel called High Desert Reflections. It’s just me—singing a few bars of a song, then sharing reflections from sixty-six years of living and what I’ve learned along the way.

So here’s my invitation to you:

Think about an identity you believe you’ve lost.

Maybe the new version looks like writing a book filled with your experiences.
Maybe it’s slowing down.
Maybe it’s a 2.0 version of who you used to be.

Dealer’s choice.

Just don’t lose your identity—revise it – Change the Key so it fits who you are now.

You’re not done yet.

________________________________________________________________________

Video of me at age 62 (in my upstairs studio)

How I Built a Website in the Covered Wagon Days (1997)

In 1997, I built my own website while living on a ranch, connected to the internet by a single dial-up phone line. I had no programming experience, didn’t know code, and barely knew how to use my PC! Windows was still fairly new, and I was migrating from DOS.


Old-timers will remember the terror: a black screen with nothing but a blinking cursor, a row of function keys you definitely weren’t supposed to press—and a few you were somehow expected to remember exactly what they did.

Getting online meant listening to that familiar screech of weird tones that went on forever and hoping no one picked up the phone in another room. If they did—connection lost, and yelling commenced.

I bought a book on how to make a website and learned HTML the only way available to me: pure stubbornness. There were no platforms or templates. I opened a plain text editor and typed everything by hand. Every paragraph, color, and line break had to be told exactly what to do. When something didn’t work, it simply didn’t show up. I had to figure out why all on my own!

Design was a workaround. Tables stood in for layout. Images were carefully resized so they wouldn’t take forever to load. That meant they had to be of very low resolution. Nothing was elegant, but when it worked, it felt like a small miracle.

And my site had movement (What??)


Flashing words. Simple animations. Photos of my ranch. Clickable flashing buttons.

By today’s standards, it was primitive. But in 1997, on a ranch with dial-up, it felt impressive. My friends couldn’t believe I had a website at all—let alone one that did things.

Publishing meant uploading files through FTP (File Transfer Protocal) software—photos and my HTML text file—dragging them from my computer into a place I barely understood. There was no undo. Every update replaced the last version completely. If I got it wrong, the site disappeared.

On a good day, it took over an hour to upload my website to the World Wide Web.

When I typed in the URL—some long, convoluted address with my name at the end—and the site appeared, I felt victorious. If it didn’t, I retraced every step, fixed what I could, and waited another hour or more for my site to upload again.

That internet was slow and unforgiving, but it was honest.
If something existed, it was because I made it exist from scratch.

There was no publish or undo button—just patience-lots of it.

For today’s bloggers and creators:
Before feeds and filters, we crossed the internet in covered wagons—
uphill, both ways, buffering the whole time.

We are Fleas on a Dog.. but WHAT A DOG!

During all of my hikes over the Sierra the past few years, I’ve had soooo many questions about how and why things are the way there are, geologically speaking.  I’d see a huge lava outcropping and I’d wonder when that got there and how?  Was it blown to it’s current resting place from a distant volcano? Did it pop out of the ground from an ancient fissure?  Just how old are the Sierra anyway?

I’m finally taking some time to seriously study Geology.  I have some answers and my hikes are that much more interesting!   This Earth has been evolving for 4.6 billion years and we’ve only been here 200,000 years of it.  Heating up, cooling down, over and over again with many variations of life forms that have come and gone over the millions of years.  Continents moving around, and still on the move. The Hawaiian Islands are moving in a Northwest direction about 4 inches a year! Eventually, they will join up with Japan! Australia is moving Northward about 2.7 inches a year. All the plates are moving, some faster than others.  Don’t believe me? Study Geology!   I would love to drive to Australia..  Mountains pushing up and STILL getting higher.  Think Everest is high now? Just you wait!   What will be here a million years from now? Us? Something else?   Nothing?  Hmmm…..  things I think about when I hike!  Geology is COOL!

Today, we take a short hike up to an ancient lava flow plateau that was formed during the creation of the Sierra Nevada when the entire range was bubbling with volcanoes and molten lava being pushed up everywhere!!  Here is some interesting reading about the Sierra.

With winter around the corner, the trees are singing their songs and a warning that a big change is soon to come.